Strength to Forgive
I might not be able to speak on anyone else’s experience but I know for myself, strength and forgiveness has not always gone hand and hand. To have strength is one thing but to add forgiveness into the mix can be a hard pill to swallow. I personally had to come to the realization that forgiveness is in fact not for the other person but for my own personal healing. This is how year 28 started out for me.
Like countless other little boys and girls, I was raised by strong single mother. It wasn’t that I didn’t know who my father was, he just wasn’t in the picture much. Coming from a single parent household, it had its highs and lows and sometimes those lows outweighed the highs. As a child I learned how to adapt and it became my normal. As I grew up and became a parent of my own children, I just couldn’t comprehend how someone could not be present in their children’s lives. I personally couldn’t imagine not being there for my children regardless if I was with my husband or not.
I can remember vividly crying on my mother’s lap wondering where my father was and why he failed to show up yet again. As a child I often wondered was it something that I did and even questioned if he truly loved me. Someone can tell you that they love you but if it’s not backed up with actions then those words mean nothing. When a young girl grows up without her father it leaves holes in her heart. But when that man is not there, she fills those holes with different things. Rather we like to realize it or not a father daughter relationship is vital, and as the old saying goes “A father is a daughter’s 1st love”. This is where she should learn how to be treated by a man and it helps shape her self-image of who she truly is.
If we sit back and reflect it’s probably some things in life that we might have done and regret but when we are truly ready, we have to come to the realization of why we did what we did. What hole in my heart was I trying to fill? What was my role in the situation? This is when forgiveness comes in and cleans up shop.
- Ask the Lord to assist you. Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me
- Give yourself some time. This is not an overnight process so give self some grace through your healing journey. 2 Cor. 12:9 And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I glory rather in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
- Forgive the other person or persons. In most cases we have to forgive the other person even if we never get an apology. Forgiveness is not for them, it’s for ourself. Col 3:13 Forbearing one another and forgiving one another if any man have a quarrel against another: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
All in all, I’m just so grateful that the Lord has given me the strength and capacity to start my healing journey in year 28. So, if you’re in a place where you need to forgive, just know that you’re not alone. Grab ahold to our fathers’ hand and let him help you.
“Fear thou not: for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee: yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness” Isaiah 41:10